4 Things More Parents Should Be Open About
Parenting is a journey full of highs and lows, and it's essential for parents to feel comfortable sharing their struggles and feelings. Here are four things more parents should be open about:
1. Feeling Guilt and Shame for Prioritizing Any Form of Self-Care
It's common for parents to feel guilty when they take time for themselves. This guilt often manifests when they leave their child with a babysitter, especially if the child is fussy.
Self-Imposed or Externally Influenced Guilt: This guilt can stem from personal beliefs or external pressures from family members or social media. The constant barrage of "perfect parenting" images can make parents feel inadequate for needing a break.
The Importance of Self-Care: The reality is that if parents are not okay as individuals, they won't be okay as caregivers. Our kids need healthy parents, leaders, and caregivers. Prioritizing self-care isn't selfish—it's necessary for being the best parent you can be.
2. The Fear of "Messing Up" Your Kid with Every Little Mistake
Many parents live in constant fear of making mistakes that could negatively impact their children. This anxiety can lead to overprotective behaviors.
Anxiety and Helicopter Parenting: This thought spiral can result in helicopter parenting, which ironically creates children who struggle with difficult tasks, experience anxiety, depression, lack confidence, and have low self-esteem. For more on this, check out this Gottman Institute blog post.
Resilience of Children: The reality is that children are more resilient than we think. Mistakes aren't the end of the world, and God is more gracious than we can imagine. As it says in 2 Corinthians 2:9-10, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
3. The Pressure of Trying to Do a "Better Job" Than Your Parents
Many parents feel pressured to outperform their own parents, often leading to perfectionistic thinking.
Rebelling Against Parental Behaviors: Rebelling against your parents' behaviors to avoid being like them can introduce new traumas. Decisions should be based on what's right for you and your child, not solely on being different from your parents. Read more about this in this Long Island Psychologist article.
All or Nothing Thinking: The reality is that trying not to be your mom or dad isn't enough. This mindset leads to all-or-nothing thinking, which is more harmful than helpful.
4. Feeling Isolated and Alone While Navigating Such a Huge Life and Responsibility Shift
Parenting can be incredibly isolating, especially when facing the immense responsibilities it brings.
You're Not Alone: Remember, you're not alone in this journey. Parenting is hard, but it's not new. Ecclesiastes 1:9 reminds us, "What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done; there is nothing new under the sun."
Finding Community: It's essential to find a community, whether through church, local parenting events, or other support networks. This support is necessary to navigate the challenges of parenting.
By being open about these struggles, parents can find support and understanding, making the journey a little less daunting. Let's break the silence and create a community where parents feel safe to share their experiences and grow together.
For more tips on self-care, check out our self-care plan template in our freebies section
Additionally, don't miss our upcoming event focused on self-care for parents, Nurturing the Nurturers, happening on July 20th!
Register here to join us and learn more about nurturing yourself while navigating the journey of parenthood.
