4 Things You Never Say to Someone with Depression
Depression is complex and deserves nuanced support.
Life can sometimes feel overwhelming, especially when faced with feelings of deep sadness that seem to linger far beyond just a bad day. This is what depression can look like: a heavy, unshakable weight that makes everything seem hopeless and strips away the joy from activities that were once loved. Someone experiencing this might also notice changes in sleep, energy levels, or even the ability to focus and make decisions. It’s important to know that depression can have many causes and can manifest in various ways.
This is important because as Christians, we often want to be like Christ and comfort those struggling with depression. However, at times, well-meaning advice can do more harm than good. Let’s talk about some common suggestions and why they might not be as helpful as intended, along with some supportive alternatives.
**1. "You should focus on serving others more."**
While acts of service can be fulfilling, constantly prioritizing others over your own well-being can actually worsen feelings of guilt and inadequacy. Instead, encourage finding a balance between helping others and caring for themself. Encourage activities that bring joy and set healthy boundaries to protect their mental health. Offer your loved ones practical help with their tasks to lighten their load without overwhelming yourself.
**2. "Just have more faith."**
It’s important to remember that depression is a complex mental health condition, not just a result of lacking faith. This suggestion can oversimplify the issue and be hurtful. Instead, offer empathetic listening and validate their feelings. Encourage them to explore coping mechanisms that align with their beliefs, such as mindfulness practices or support groups, while also seeking professional help if needed.
**3. "Just think positive thoughts/Be happier."**
Depression is not simply a matter of negative thinking; it involves biological and environmental factors. Telling someone to "just think positive" can trivialize their experience. Instead, validate their experiences and offer support. Help them set realistic goals and develop coping strategies to navigate difficult situations. Encourage engagement in activities that bring a sense of accomplishment and joy.
**4. "It's all part of God's plan."**
Attributing depression EXCLUSIVELY to God’s divine will can invalidate someone’s struggles and discourage them from seeking help. It gives the messaging that “God wants me to be suffering, so I should continue to suffer.” It’s crucial to provide compassionate support and remind them that seeking help is a courageous step towards healing. Encourage exploration of their faith in ways that promote self-compassion and resilience. Assist in finding resources within their church community that focus on mental well-being.
Remember, it’s okay to seek help and prioritize mental health. Depression is a serious condition, but with the right support and understanding, it’s possible to find hope and healing. If you or someone you know is struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Together, we can create a compassionate and supportive environment where people feel the freedom to truly be a supportive, Holy Spirit filled community!
